I Specialize In Crazy
by Megadaydreamer166
Summary: This is a series of one shots/drabbles of a girl who figured out Robin's secret I.D. and how they grow closer together as friends and more. Most are rated K unless otherwise noted, in which case proper warnings are before the content.
1. Chapter 1

I Specialize in Crazy

Part 1

I can't really tell you how I figured it out, but I did. What I can tell you (even though I shouldn't) is that Dick Greyson is Robin.

I go to Gothem Academy. That's how I know Dick, we're both gymnast/acrobats, but neither of us was on the team. I go to the gym to hone my skills. Dick was much better than me, that's a given, and he would be there sometimes to practice himself, or to help me learn some new things. Looking back now, he probably had other places to practice and I honestly don't know why he would spend that time with me.

We became semi-friends freshman year. We had a few classes together and he wasn't completely unfriendly to me. Sophomore year we didn't talk as much, but I think he just had a lot on his plate, so did I but that's another story.

Now, it's Junior year and we've limited our talking to our mutual time in the gym, which on average is twice a week. I understand why though. During the school day we run in different circles, he's one of the preps (surprising right) and I'm one of the scholarship kids. Those groups rarely mix, but when it's just us, things change. We just talk about anything, everything and nothing all at the same time. I've come to really enjoy that time.

About two months ago we were in the gym like normal. Someone had broken some of the equipment earlier that day by accident and it was still in its spot in need of repair. I was trying a trick Dick had taught me the week before, but I slipped and I went falling toward the broken equipment.

Dick went into Robin mode and saved me from impaling myself on the sharp edge. His shirt ripped in a way that exposed his defined chest, and before he held it closed I saw a scar on his stomach.

To most people a simple scar wouldn't be a big clue, but I have experience with different types of scars. The one I saw was much different than one from a surgery as would be assumed from a stomach wound. It was partially covered as if he used concealer or foundation to hide it. It was also jagged, like it was inflicted with a partially serrated knife.

That night I started digging. Some of my evidence was facts, other evidence was deductive reasoning, but to me the only logical conclusion was that Dick Greyson was Robin.

This week I decided that cloak and dagger simply wasn't my style. Looking back now it probably wasn't the best idea to simply say that I knew he was Boy Wonder while he was spotting me during a new trick. He was so shocked that he didn't catch me when I had a misstep. I fell in a very uncomfortable way.

"I'm sorry Lana, you caught me off guard." He helped me up from the floor. I began to stand, but couldn't put weight on my left ankle. I hissed in pain.

"I can't stand on it." Instead of having me lean on him and helping me to the bleachers, he picked me up with one arm under my knees and the other around my back. I made an inhuman sound and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You amuse me Lana. Why would you think I was Robin?" He scoffed slightly.

"Give me one legitimate reason as to why you're not," I countered. He set me down on the bleachers and kneeled in front of me to look at my ankle. While he was checking it over he came up with reasons as to why he wasn't Robin. I countered them all.

"I know you're Robin because you've been pushing me to believe otherwise in panic, not pity. A normal person would feel sorry that I'm so deluded, but there's panic in your actions. Don't try to hide it: I've seen panic to many times. I was the family lie detector, I haven't been fooled yet."

He kept his eyes on my ankle refusing to look up. I placed my hand on his. He didn't look up, but he grasped my hand in his.

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm really good at keeping secrets. I've been doing it a long time." He looked at me with his lovely blue eyes.

"If Batman finds out you know, he'll have my head." His voice was light, but I could sense the underlying seriousness. He put an instant cold pack on my injured ankle. I sent him a small smile in thanks.

"Dick, I've stuck around for three years. Would I really leave now? You can talk to me about anything, even the hero stuff." I took a sip from my water bottle. Dick got off the ground and sat next to me. He propped my ankle on his lap. I rolled my eyes and pulled him a little closer so that my leg was resting across his lap and my foot was on the seat next to him.

"You don't know what you're signing up for." He shook his head slightly. I ran my hand through his hair.

"Robin, believe me when I say this; I specialize in crazy."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: So over the last chapter's comments, there was a debate about flames and such and essentially an Anon said my character wasn't believable. Dear Anon, thank you. This chapter/part thing should explain some things. Keep in mind that this isn't technically a full story, it's a series of one-shots outlining their relationship, which at the moment is just close friends.

* * *

I Specialize In Crazy

Part 2

The day came a few weeks later when Dick learned something new about me that I hadn't really told anyone before. Usually something like that would scare someone off. To be perfectly honest, I'm crazy, legally.

We were sitting in my backyard eating Chinese food, because that's just what we do on Saturdays. The school year was coming to an end and there was only about a month left of classes. We were talking about what we were going to do over the summer.

"I'm just going to stay around here. There's not much time for vacation when you're a superhero," Dick said nonchalantly. I smirked at that.

"My mom is shipping me off to a mental institution." Dick choked on his rice. After a few minutes of his hacking and my prying that I didn't have to perform the Heimlich, Dick finally caught his breath.

"You're going to a mental institution?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, why is that not normal?" I asked, teasing him a little. He looked at me like I had completely lost it. I tried to keep a straight face, but failed miserably. "You should have seen the look on your face."

He sent me a look. I sent him an over exaggerated grin back.

"Seriously though Lana, are you really going to a mental institution?" He took another bite of his food careful not to choke again.

"Yeah, it seems that I have this really awkward mental thing, and they don't know what to do with me. I'm not a danger to anyone or even myself, I just don't see things like normal people do. My mom originally thought it was schizophrenia, but the doctors think it's actually some strange form of ADHD. Anyway, so my mom is sending me there to be checked out over the summer, if all goes well, I should be back for school." I took another bite of my food. Dick looked like he was trying to process everything I just said.

"Wait, so you're crazy?" He asked, still trying to understand.

I nodded. "How do you think I figured out who you are? A normal person wouldn't have been able to understand all the clues, no matter how obvious they were, because they are blinded by what they think is true. I, on the other hand, refuse to believe in anything being completely impossible. Therefore, it is not so outrageous to think that you are Robin. People just don't think outside the box."

"Why are you going away? If you're no danger to anyone, why don't you stay here?" I could tell he was thoroughly confused.

"Believe it or not, my mom is very superficial. She just got this huge promotion at work and she doesn't want me to embarrass her, so she's sending me away to make sure that I'm not too crazy and won't ruin her image."

"No offence Lana, but your mom is the crazy one," he said and we began to flow back into normal (or what we would consider normal) conversation.

"I know. She literally forced me into a dress so I could meet her boss. I'm sorry mom, but that was way beyond the realms of normal." I took another bite of my food and looked at Dick, who was trying not to laugh.

"Normality in itself is an illusion. Everyone is special, therefore no one is normal. However if that is true, does that mean that to be special is normal?" Dick said this and then took a long drink of his soda.

"That, right there my friend, is circular reasoning, and illogical by nature. Therefore, both statements are perhaps true, but cannot at the same time be valid."

"You really liked that logic class didn't you?" He chuckled lowly. I nodded eagerly. "You never cease to amaze me." I bowed slightly and sent him a big smile.

"You'll visit me though won't you?" I asked suddenly being serious. He looked at me with his face kind of scrunched up like he was confused I would ask such a question.

"Of course I will. I guess now we both specialize in crazy."


	3. Chapter 3

I Specialize In Crazy

Part 3

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Dick climbed into my window slowly and nearly fell. I did my best to catch him before he face-planted my floor.

"I got into this pretty nasty fight off duty. Batman would kill me if I showed up like this." He collapsed on my bed, face down. I turned him over and I could see the rather impressive gash on his chest.

I ran to my bathroom and brought back an extensive first aid kit. I set it down next to min and took a better look at his chest. His demolished shirt was becoming a problem, because I couldn't see the cut as well with it on.

"Does this shirt hold any sentimental value?" I asked.

"No, why?" I didn't answer, instead I began to cut it off his body, and since there was no way I could get Dick to take it off normally. He wiggled a bit, but stopped when I told him to.

"Why did you come to me? Out of all the people you could've gone to, you chose me." I pulled the now destroyed shirt away from the gash. It was wide and long and unfortunately deep.

"I came to you because you can fix me up, and I've missed you this week." He tried to laugh but he ended up wincing instead. I looked through my kit to make sure I had everything I needed to stitch him up. I had everything accept a local anesthetic. I ran downstairs quietly and got an apple.

"Dick you know how doctors 'This won't hurt a bit'?" He nodded and looked quizzically at the fruit in my hand. "Well, I'm not a doctor; this is going to hurt." He opened his mouth to protest, but I stuffed the apple in his teeth. I straddled his waist for the best angle and got to work.

I did my best to work quickly as to not cause him too much pain, but because of the nerve placement in his body I ended up having to restrain his arms so he wouldn't move too much. By the time I was finished, Dick was covered in sweat, his wrists were rubbed raw from where I had to tie them, and the apple in his mouth was all but bitten in half.

My hands were just starting to shake from the adrenaline as I pulled the apple out of Dick's mouth. He was breathing hard, writs still bound to my bed. If someone walked in at that moment it would look like we just had wild sex, except for the bandages.

"That was brutal," he panted. He breathing was beginning to slow down, but not by much.

"I'm sorry; I didn't have anything for the pain." He shook his head as if to say 'don't worry about it' and closed his eyes. I leaned over and began to untie his wrists, thankful his eyes were closed, considering my chest was in his face.

He didn't move at first and for a second I thought he was dead, but then I saw the rise and fall of his chest and knew he was alive.

I told him I would be right back after I cleaned up the mess. Once I got rid of all the blood stained tools and changing my clothes, I returned to find him passed out on my bed. I decided to let him be and just lock my door. I put a pillow and a blanket on the floor to sleep there.

When I woke in the morning (thankfully it was Saturday) to find Dick gone, along with one of the t-shirts I borrowed from him. I sighed and stripped my bed from the bloody sheets.

After making sure everything in my room was back to normal, I went downstairs for breakfast. I trudged into the kitchen, half awake due to last night. I was so out of it that I didn't notice Dick sitting at my kitchen table.

"Good morning to you too," he said sarcastically. My reaction was so slow that I still didn't notice him until I sat down across from him at the table with a cup of coffee.

"Oh look, you're in my kitchen." My eyes wouldn't stay open.

"Dick came earlier. I told him you were asleep, but he said that he would wait." My mom walked into the room. She filled a watering can and went to water the plants.

"Thank you, by the way," Dick said after my mom had left.

"You should've gone home. Batman is going to skin you alive," I scolded quietly.

"I'm not the type of guy to leave before morning."


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

The air was sticky with moisture and humidity. My shirt stuck to my back. The sun beat down on my skin. It was a good day for the beach.

Dick invited me to join him and his team at the beach. I was hesitant at first, but he assured me that the team would be cool with my joining them.

"So what should I call everyone?" I asked as we got out of his car. I pulled out my bag from the back seat.

"They know that you know my secret I.D. so just call them whatever they introduce themselves as." He pulled a cooler out of the trunk. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me onto the sand.

"What if they don't like me?" I asked biting my lip.

"If I like you, there is no doubt that they will too," he assured me, and continued to pull me along.

We came up to a group of people who all greeted Dick as Robin. I hung behind him as much as his grip on my wrist would allow.

I leaned up and whispered into Dick's ear, "What should I call you today?" He tapped my wrist twice signaling I should call him Robin.

"Who's this?" one of them asked. Dick pulled my out from behind him and wrapped an arm around my shoulders effectively cutting off any probable means of escape.

"Hi, I'm Lana," I said in a small voice. One by one they introduced themselves to me with their hero name and then what I could call them. They were friendly, and seemed to like me. I chatted with the girls while I set up my stuff.

"Nice towel," Artemis commented. I looked down at the towel I had placed on the sand and realized I had grabbed the Robin towel Dick gave me as a joke.

"Well you know how guys are. They like to stake their claim. He should just pee on my leg and get it over with," I said as a joke. Artemis laughed. I grabbed my water bottle and took a long drink.

"So how long have you and Robin been a couple?" M'gaan asked. I choked on my water. The girls looked concerned as I coughed up a lung.

"Robin and I are not a thing. What makes you say that?" I asked as I tried to catch my breath.

"Lana are you okay?" Dick asked when he saw me choke.

"I'm okay," I called back. I set down my water and pulled off my now soaked shirt, revealing my black bikini underneath.

Zatana shook her head in disbelief. "If you two are 'just friends' I'll eat my shoe." The other girls laughed, and I just blushed.

"You three are looking at things that aren't there," I countered. M'gaan gave the other girls a knowing look. I rolled my eyes, and gave the subject no more thought.

"Girls, we're playing chicken!" Connor called from the water. We all got up from the sand and made our way to the shoreline.

"Okay, first Connor and M'gaan fight against Wally and Artemis," Kaldur instructed. He stood off to the side. We all watched as team Spitfire (as I was later told they were called) somehow won. Kaldur called it because the two teams couldn't decide who the victor was.

I climbed onto Dick's shoulders locking my ankles around his back. He held onto my legs, just above my knees, and gripped the muscle there. Zatana positioned herself on Kaldur's shoulders, and got ready for the fight.

We won. The muscles in my legs were strong from learning the trapeze a few months ago and Dick had incredible balance. Since we were doing this tournament style, Dick and I faced Wally and Artemis.

This fight took longer. In the end Dick tripped Wally and I pushed Artemis so they fell. I ruffled his hair, still on his shoulders, and he squeezed my thigh.

After another hour or so in the water someone suggested we get out and start on lunch. I climbed out of the waves and started to make lunch with M'gaan.

I lit the grill while M'gaan got the hamburgers and hot dogs. I placed my hand over the grate of the grill to feel the temperature.

"I still think you two would be perfect together." I sighed internally.

"You're entitled to think what you want," I replied.

"It's just that he talks about you all the time. Lana and I did this, Lana said that. Just so you know, your name is probably his favorite word." M'gaan placed the meat on the grill with her telekinesis.

Now that M'gaan had put the thought in my head, I couldn't get it out.

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A/N: Hey guys just so you know, you can send in requests as to what you think should happen in one of these one shots. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

True to her word, my mom sent me off to the closest mental institution for the summer.

After sleeping in an uncomfortable bed, and dreaming about endless white walls with colorless tile and harsh light, I woke to a blank room, not knowing if I was still asleep or not. I looked around for my clothes, but only found a beige set of clothes that were a little too big and slightly itchy.

Imagine my surprise/horror to find that the place I was staying in was just like my dream. The only difference was that there were people in these hallways. They all looked hollow, like all the life had been sucked out of their being.

The doctors here all seemed nice at first, but they were pushy when it came to talking to them and they treated me like I was incapable of breathing without help. They were the only color here. They wore blue under their lab coats.

I had never seen such a white and brown place. Even the food took on the color of the walls, never once giving me a respite from the dreary atmosphere of mental illness. The floor squeaked against my rubber sneakers and that was the only music here. All the sound came from the tired and bored voices of the patients or the fake concern of the doctors. I was starting to forget home.

I did my best everyday to remember home. I tried to remember my house with the tree in the backyard. I tried to remember my school with the stiff uniform. I took to sketching. I was given paper and pencils when I had recreation time, and I used them religiously to remember my life outside of these walls.

After a few weeks, the unthinkable happened. I was starting to forget the sound of Dick's voice, or what his eyes looked like in the sun. I began to forget the things we would talk about when it rained, or the things we would do when the day was nice. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't draw Dick, and so I began to forget him.

I was there for about a month and a half. Dick had come to visit me in the first few weeks, but I hadn't seen him in a little over a month. I couldn't remember what his voice sounded like. I couldn't remember what his skin felt like when he would pull me along behind him. I almost didn't recognize him when he came over the day after I got home.

"Lana, you're back!" He hugged me tight, and I stood there frozen, because I couldn't remember him. "Lana, are you okay? You seem out of it." Then I remembered him, all at once. It came flooding back like a tsunami.

"That place is made to kill the soul. I almost forgot you, and they thought it was progress. Please, never make me go back." I hugged him with all my strength, which wasn't much after that place. They wouldn't let me practice my gymnastics, so I had lost some of my muscle.

"Never again."

* * *

A/N: So yeah, I was thinking about how Lana was supposed to go to the mental institution but she never did so I wrote it. Yeah, this came out. Anyway, I'm still taking prompts/requests/suggestions as to what else I should write in this book of one-shots. Thanks for reading, and if you actually read this author's note leave a comment with the title of a song you can't believe you actually like. Mine is Mmm Yeah by Austin Mahone.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

The summer was drawing to a close and I was quite glad that my mom decided I was sane enough to go back to school. It was senior year and honestly I couldn't wait to get out of here. My mom's new promotion had made us much more financially stable and I was now off the scholarships, and in a sense could be considered prep, but I refused to buy into that stereotype.

Dick and I had spent a good amount of the summer together and had enjoyed the sun, aside from my time in the mental institution. It was now early September and the last wisps of summer still hung in the air, and I refused to think that fall was only a few weeks away.

I pulled up to the school on the back of Dick's new motorcycle, which he had kindly offered me a ride on when I had expressed how much I didn't want to take the bus. I climbed off and left the helmet Dick had lent me on the seat, knowing that no one was stupid enough to steal from him.

We walked in the school together, and everyone was staring at us. The combination of our mode of transportation and the fact that we had arrived together was enough to confuse a fair amount of the student body.

I had these huge headphones around my neck blasting a rock song that no one else really knew. Dick stood close and listened to the music with me. His "friends" looked on with their mouths on the floor. I decided to be an evil little shit.

"Hey babe, let's go get out schedules." I grabbed his hand and pulled him along toward the office. His face didn't give anything away, but I knew he was confused by my new nickname for him. I tapped the back of his hand three times, _play along_.

He smiled at me and said, "Sure thing love." I snuck a look at the preps and had to physically hold back my laughter. All their mouths were wide open and I was almost scared they wouldn't close again, and one looked like they were going to pass out.

We walked into the office and I finally laughed.

"Did you see their faces?" I wheezed out in between laughter. Dick just chuckled.

"And to think, sometimes I have to wonder why you spent your summer in the loony bin." He kept walking further into the office.

"You love me anyway, and you know it. Let's face it, I may be partially mentally unstable, but I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you," I said dramatically, flipping my hair and using over exaggerated hand movements.

"Yes, well, what is it you say? 'I specialize in crazy.' I may not have known what I was signing up for, but I am glad I did." Dick then turned to one of the student administration computers.

Gotham Academy had decided that it was too much of a hassle to give each student their schedules individually, so they set up some computers for the students to print off their own schedules. Dick, being the genius he is, had his printed fairly quickly, and I was still trying to figure out how to log on. After two more minutes of watching me struggle, he finally helped me and printed my schedule faster than it would have taken me to write my name. I could tell Dick was trying not to laugh at my rudimentary computer skills. "Give me a break, they didn't have computers at the insane asylum," I joked. He finally laughed.

"I'll help you with them after school." He began to walk back toward the lobby of the school. I followed close behind him.

"How much do you want to prank your prep friends today?" I said keeping my voice down. He tried to raise one eyebrow, but he didn't have that gene so he couldn't do it. I laughed lightly and raised one eyebrow. He scowled for a second and playfully hit my arm.

"Let's give them something to talk about," he replied mysteriously. He then reached over and wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close. We walked out of the office and back into the lobby. He smiled down at me in a flirtatious way, so I bit my lip and looked up at him through my eyelashes.

I could hear the shocked gasps and whispers, but I did my best to make it seem like I wasn't paying attention. Dick bent down and kissed my forehead, and then he began to lead me away from the lobby and toward our new lockers. I stretched a big smile across my face and followed him.

We held hands as we walked, talking to each other in low tones that probably look sweet, but really we were saying stupid stuff to keep up the smiles.

"Hey, Dick who is this?" Mindy, one of the people in Dick's circle asked as we walked up.

"Mindy, you know Lana right? She's been here forever." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his side. I smiled at Mindy, but in my mind I was strangling her in the most gruesome ways possible.

"Yeah I know her. I just thought you would have a little more taste than a scholarship slut like her." Mindy smirked at me, but I kept my smile. Then I punched her in the face.

"That was a great way to start the year. By the way, I'm not on scholarship anymore. Have a nice day." Dick gave me a look that was half way between horrified and impressed.

"My therapist told me that I need to let out my anger; this probably isn't what she had in mind, but it works." Dick just shook his head and led me away from the scene before I could get into trouble in the first five minutes of school.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked.

"It's a good thing you specialize in crazy."

* * *

A/N: Here is the new installment of I Specialize In Crazy. The next one will actually be from a request for a jealous Dick. Keep the suggestions coming, because I really do use them.

P.S. To the anon that thought Lana was Mary Sue, I took a Mary Sue test and she was only 17% a Mary Sue. Most characters like that never spent time in an insane asylum.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

Halloween was rolling around soon, and as per usual, the entire school was getting ready for the annual Halloween dance. Dick and I had long since ended our prank, but his friends still didn't like me.

Dick had somehow found a date to the dance with a junior girl. I was left to attempt to find a date on my own. I had no lack of invitations, but I think it was because some of the boys had a bet going as to who could get the "crazy girl" to go to the dance with them.

It's true; my time at the loony bin had been leaked to the student body. For the most part, it just meant people didn't talk to me as much, but then there were times like this when they saw it as a deformation. They just didn't understand.

That was until I met Ryan.

Ryan asked me to the dance, much like all the boys that were involved with the bet they didn't think I knew about, but he was different. When I asked him how much he would win, he looked at me like I had grown another head. This means that Ryan was one of two things: an amazing actor, or genuinely confused.

Usually I'm an excellent judge of character, and due to the fact that no one was there to tell me otherwise, I accepted his invitation. He smiled in this cute little way and looked at me over his glasses. I never thought glasses would be attractive on a man, but on him they were adorable.

We walked together for a few minutes, making slightly awkward small talk about various things, until he asked me what I would go to the dance as. I thought about it for a moment, and decided that since the entire school thought I was crazy anyway, I would go as a very dead Alice from Alice in Wonderland. We both laughed at my choice and then he asked if he could accompany me as a very dead Mad Hatter, to which I agreed.

After school I was talking with Dick, when he mentioned his date flaking out on him.

"It's just annoying. She all but begged me to go with her and now she says she has better things to do." He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"I don't know what to tell you, normally I would say, let's go together, but I already have a date." Dick froze for a moment then looked at me.

"You have a date?" I raised my eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes. "I don't mean I'm surprised you have a date, I mean… Yeah actually I'm surprised you have a date. I thought you said you were going to go on your own."

"Well, this guy Ryan asked me and he seemed pretty cool, so I said yes. We talked for a little while and he genuinely felt like a really nice guy." I shrugged and popped some popcorn in my mouth. We were watching a movie at the time.

I looked over at him. "Don't give me the big brother speech, I know to be careful. Besides, you've taught me a few tips and tricks, he shouldn't be a problem. He's in band for crying out loud. He plays the trumpet; how many sinister people to you know play the trumpet?"

Dick tried to raise an eyebrow, but failed miserably. That's not good. "How, pray tell, did you learn all this? I doubt this all came out of the conversation you had when he asked you to the dance."

Uh oh. "You know Chris Evans does a great job as Captain America, we should get the second one. I think it's on Amazon; do you want me to check?" I reached for the remote to my BluRay player and began the search for Captain America 2 when Dick plucked the remote out of my hand.

"Lana is there something you want to tell me?" This time he raised both his eyebrows, because one just wasn't going to work.

"Okay so I may have had a tiny crush on him for a little while, but that's not creepy." I shrugged and tried to grab the remote.

"Define tiny." Dick held the remote out of my grasp. I sighed.

"It's been crushing my very soul for the last month." I dramatically turned and flung myself across the couch, which ultimately meant lying on Dick's lap. "Today was so perfect; I thought I was going to pee myself."

Dick shook his head and laughed. "You're crazy."

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry this one is on the short side, I just thought it could end there. This chapter is specifically dedicated to bookangel1624, since her suggestions for future chapters were something I had thought of only a few minutes before I read the comment. You are truly an angel. As always, please send in suggestions, it get's my creative juices going and I just love getting them. Finally, if you got this far it means you actually read my author's notes and I love you for it, so tell me, what is your favorite part of this collection so far?

Love and Hugs everybody!


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

"Here's the thing; people already think I'm off my rocker, why not just give them confirmation?" Ryan and I were walking in the hall on our way to our Advanced Psychology class. Ironic, isn't it?

"So you're going to the dance as Alice from Alice in Wonderland?" Ryan asked, laughing slightly.

"Correction, I'm going as a dead Alice. You said you would go as the Mad Hatter, what do you have to say to that?" I raised one eyebrow.

Contrary to Dick, Ryan did have the correct genetic markers for raising one eyebrow, so he kindly did it back to me. "I figured," he began." If people saw Alice and the Mad Hatter they would think those two must be a thing. The last thing I want is for someone to think you came alone and try to take you from me."

I turned on my toes so that I was not standing in front of him with an "Oh really" expression on my face. "Are we a thing?" I asked.

Ryan seemed to realize what he had said, and attempted to backtrack. He ended up stumbling over his words. He finally gave up trying to explain himself and just asked, "Do you want to be a thing?"

"Define a thing." Ryan rolled his eyes at my banter, but smiled nonetheless.

"Lana, will you be my girlfriend?" He cocked his head to the side and looked at me with a gentle smirk. I pretended to think about it before saying yes.

He smiled fully at me, and then intertwined his fingers with mine. We continued down the hall with our previous conversation like nothing was different. After all, the only difference between a best friend and a boyfriend is the romance. Right?

Author's Note: Shoot me, it's okay. I know this is really short, and I'm honestly sorry that it's taken this long and this is all I have to show for it, but Senior year started and I'm swamped. As always suggestions are appreciated, because this is a compilation of one-shots not necessarily a story. If you read this whole note comment telling me your current favorite TV show.


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

Halloween. Oh, how I love Halloween. It's one of the few nights a year I can act like the freak I am, and people won't judge me for it. This year I decided to throw all caution to the wind, and be the Lana that people didn't know existed.

I had warned Ryan ahead of time that I was going to go a bit crazy tonight. I swear I have the best boyfriend in the world, he said that the only things he would not condone are killing someone, getting arrested, and losing a limb. I could handle that.

We walked into the gym of the school, which was covered in far too many cheesy decorations and fake cob webs. There was glitter everywhere to the point where it was starting to cover the floor. Only half of the normal lights were on, and the ones that were had color tinted fiberglass over the florescent bulbs. The music was a little too loud, with a little too much bass, and the air smelled like sweat and fruit punch. I loved it.

Ryan wrapped his arm around my waist and led me further inside. The room was nearly packed, with just enough space that people had to push and shove to move anywhere. Ryan pulled me out to the dance floor, and we began to dance to a song I didn't know, but it had a good beat and I made the right choice in not listening too closely to the lyrics.

We danced together like the mad/dead people we personified ourselves as, and generally had a good time. It wasn't until three songs later that we decided to stop and get a drink.

"This is a lot better than I thought it would be," I said loudly. Ryan smiled and nodded, before reaching to adjust his glasses, which were not there. He had opted to wear his contacts tonight, in case his glasses fell and got broken. I thought it suited him, but I liked his either way.

"Look, there's Dick." Ryan pointed over at a table were Dick was sitting with a few of his more tolerable friends. A girl in a barely there Wonder Woman costume came up to him and tried to get his attention, but soon left defeated.

"Let's go say hi," I shouted over the music. I pulled Ryan along as we made our way through the crowd. Dick saw me coming and stood up to give me a hug. I gladly returned it.

"Lana, Ryan, how's it going?" Dick attempted to smile, but his zombie make-up was making it difficult. I should know, I have this giant scar down my face that I made with make-up, liquid latex and tissues. It itches.

"Good, it's so weird, I feel like you've been strangely absent from my life recently like everything is being written by a stressed out teenage girl who for some reason forgot to put you in the story these past few chapters. Is that crazy?" I rushed all that out in one breath; cue mental clapping (clap clap clap).

"When it's coming from you; yes." Dick leaned up against the back of his chair. "I love the matchy matchy thing you've got going on there." I could tell he didn't really like it, so I decided to defuse the tension.

"How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" Dick and Ryan shrugged their shoulders. "Hey look, punch." They both chuckled at my antics.

"Seeing as this is a dance, Ryan, would you mind if I stole Lana for one?" Dick asked over me, which was hard to do at that moment because I was actually wearing heels. Yes, heels.

"Go ahead, I don't mind," Ryan answered before he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, while avoiding the fake blood. That would've been gross.

"Oi, do I get a say in this?" I asked indignantly.

"No, now come on." Dick pulled me out onto the dance floor.

"Slow down you dick."

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Author's Note: So I don't know what happened to the line break thing in the formatting so I think I'll just do this from now on. *One of these things is not like the other* Anyway, so everything was kind-of weird in this chapter, honestly I just wanted to get through Halloween. As always suggestions are appreciated, and used (Honestly they are, just not posted yet). Question of the day! What are you going to be for Halloween? I love you all! *Mwah*


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10

"Dick you pain, we haven't properly hung out in forever. Let's do something. I don't care; we could go watch paint dry if you wanted. At least call me back okay? Bye." I hung up my cell phone and looked over at my mom, who was getting ready for businesses trip/paid vacation.

Apparently this promotion she got came with a boatload of perks. Perks like higher pay, business trips that were more trip that business, less hours at the office, dental, the whole nine yards. It all came with this promotion.

Fortunately/Unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I was not permitted to come. Since I was 18 now, no one needed to watch me. I would be alone for a month.

Mom would be gone for a month. She was setting up a new branch of this company in Milan.

"Do you think Dick's avoiding me?" I asked. Mom didn't look up from folding one of her favorite blouses.

"I think you're just being paranoid Lana, Dick is a busy boy and has a lot of responsibilities. That or he's finally quit waiting for you and got a girlfriend. Did you really think he would wait forever?" She shrugged her shoulders and kept packing not even bothering to listen to a response I would have had.

I don't really know what my mom meant by "finally quit waiting" or anything after that. I finally decided not to think too hard on it.

I went up to my room and turned on my new stereo. Cartel's fast paced guitar and poetic lyrics pulsed through the room. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the music. I slowly lacked up until I felt my bed hit the back of my knees and then fell back onto the mattress.

I got through a few songs before my phone went off. Ryan had texted me saying that he was bored, and asking if I wanted to go get ice cream. I thought about it for a second before saying yes.

We met 10 minutes later at this cute little ice cream shop that doubles as a bakery.

"Why do you think he's been ignoring me?" I asked as Ryan and I shared a peanut butter sundae. He scooped a piece of peanut butter cup onto his spoon before speaking.

"I think he just doesn't know what to do now that we're together. He probably needs some time to think and really maul it over." I thought about what Ryan said as I chewed on a hunk of chocolate.

"How long do you think he needs? We've been together for a month." I stirred some of the semi-soupy sundae, and fed Ryan the cherry. Then I popped the cherry stem in my mouth to try to tie a knot. I was unsuccessful so far.

"Have you ever been able to do that?" Ryan asked in response to the strange faces I was making. I spit out the stem which was now crushed into a pulp.

"I have never been able to tie a cherry stem into a knot using my mouth." I scooped some more ice cream into my mouth.

"You're too cute for words."

"Taking about you again?" Ryan just chuckled and kissed the knuckles of the hand he was holding.

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Author's Note: So I know it's been such a long time since I've updated, but here is the next installment of Lana's life as a hero's best friend. I know it seems really boring and cheesy right now, but the next chapter has some stuff in it that may raise some of your ships from the dead, and sink my own *sigh*. Anyway thanks to everyone who commented, it makes my day to see a comment or that someone has put this story on their favorites/alerts. I love you all.

Question of the Day: What are you asking for, for Christmas?


	11. Chapter 11

**WARNING: Attempted Rape**

Part 11

Gotham isn't the safest place at night. I knew that, but I still decided to walk home instead of accepting a ride from my friend's mom. I sent a text to Dick though and in hindsight that's what saved me.

It wasn't a long walk home, so honestly I didn't think about it. It wasn't like here was anything ominous about that night either. It was warm and the almost constant smell of cigarette smoke was faint.

I was walking along with my ear buds in, not really paying attention to anything around me. The music pounded in my ears and I loved it.

Imagine my surprise when someone clamped their hand over my mouth and pressed and knife to my neck. I tried to struggle, but his grip was too strong. He pulled me down the alley and pushed me against the wall.

It was at that moment that I realized how stupid I was. I knew how dangerous Gotham was at night. I knew what kind of people lurked in the alleys. Why had I gone alone when Dick had told me countless times the kind of things that happened on these very streets?

I didn't want to look at my attacker, but I opened my eyes anyway. For a second I relaxed. I knew those eyes; I knew those eyes hidden behind square rimmed glasses. I knew those long eyelashes brushing against the lenses he wore and strong jaw line dusted with stubble. I knew that mouth that curved into a smirk that I certainly didn't know. I wanted to be relived, but instead I became even more panicked as Ryan pressed the knife harder into my neck.

"Ryan, what are you doing?" I gasped out. The unfamiliar smirked carved deeper into his face.

"Poor little Lana, so naive. You would think she would know when she's about to be raped. You know if you dished out this wouldn't be happening. You're a damn prude, but I'm going to make you scream like the slut we all know you are." He leaned forward and bit at my jaw in a way that would have been very hot if there wasn't a knife against my throat, and we weren't in a dark alley.

I squeezed my eyes shut as Ryan ran his hand down my body, immediately making its way to my belt. I wished with all my heart that this would go away, that this was a dream.

He undid my belt and began to pull down my zipper. In that next moment I didn't feel him at all I cracked my eyes open and dared to look out at the guy I thought I had fallen in love with. He wasn't there.

I opened my eyes all the way and looked around cautiously. Seeing no one, I started to make my way to the street, but something dropped in front of me. I screamed.

"Lana, it's me," it said. I looked closer and saw it was Dick in his Robin uniform. I immediately relaxed. I felt dizzy all of a sudden and fell, not quite passing out. Dick caught me and picked me up so I didn't fall again, much like that day so long ago in the school gym. "Come on Lana, let's get you home."

Dick carried me the remaining block home, my head resting on his shoulder. Setting me down, but still keeping a hold on me, he took my keys from around my neck and helped me into the house.

"Go get ready for bed, I'll be here when you're done," he said gently. I nodded and made my way upstairs.

After changing, taking out my contacts, and having a mini anxiety attack, I went back downstairs. Dick was at the stove making hot chocolate from scratch. He had taken off his mask and cape, both on the chair in my kitchen. He looked over to me and opened his arms. I wrapped my arms around his torso and he encased me in his embrace, stoking my hair lightly.

"So this is where you go." W both jumped apart and turned to see Batman in my kitchen looking at us while fingering Dick's mask in his hand.

"I can explain," Dick started.

"You had better," Batman interrupted. "There had better be a really good reason as to why she knows your real name." He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I figured it out." I stepped in front of Dick, and tried to look brave, even though my hands were shaking violently. "I took a wild guess and I was right. It's not his fault so don't blame him." I could feel Dick's fingers on my back, our sign of comfort. Simply touching each other in some way put us both at ease, even after these last few weeks of ignoring me.

"I don't like this," Batman began, but I interrupted.

"You don't have to like it, you just have to put up with it, because I'm not going anywhere and you can't make me." I crossed my arms and stood my ground.

"What makes you say that?" he countered.

"Gut intuition and deductive reasoning, Bruce." I said forcefully. He froze. "I'll keep your secret, just leave me alone" Batman's lip curled into a sneer.

"Fine, but Robin no longer has a secret to keep. Dick, you have three days to get your stuff out of my house." Then he turned and left my home.

"Dick sit down, you need this hot chocolate more than I do." He shook his head and continued to stir the hot liquid. I pressed my hand to his side, just like he touched my back.

"Honestly, I had a feeling something like this would happen soon. I just didn't know how it would happen." He poured the hot chocolate into two large mugs he had set out. He took them both and handed me one. We sat at the table.

"You could stay here. My mom gave me the place so she could run away with what's-his-name she met in Milan." He sent me a silent thank you with his eyes.

"Is it wrong that I prepared for this?" He asked me. He held his hot chocolate in both hands, staring like it held all the answers.

"Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. This is in no way your fault. If anything it's mine, I should've used my brain and gotten a ride home. If I had, none of this would've happened." I looked down at my hands, not having the courage to look Dick in the eye. My hands were shaking slightly, and I wasn't sure if it was from the trauma of almost being raped, or having my house broken into by Batman, or the fact that I was such a lousy friend to Dick.

"How would you have known that you were going to be raped? This is in no way your fault." Dick lifted my chin and made me look at him. His eyes were pleading with me to believe him.

"It is my fault. Ryan wanted to have sex last week and I said no. When he pinned me he said I was being a prude. I should've just slept with him, and then none of this would have happened." I got up from my seat and leaned my arms on the counter. Maybe I am a prude. Maybe I should just have sex and get it over and done with.

Dick got up and spun my around so I was looking at him. "Don't you dare say that. What you have to give is special, it should be given to someone you trust and love. Ryan doesn't deserve it. A man should be honored you even considered him. You are not a prude. Anyone who says anything different is either lying to trying to get in your pants." He pulled me into his arms again and held me close. I could feel his heartbeat. I wasn't sure if I fully believed him yet, but I was starting to.

"What are we going to do about you? You know the team won't give you up without a fight," I said smirking slightly.

"Batman basically fired me as Robin; I can still be my own hero. High school is over so I don't have to worry about that. Bruce gave me a weekly allowance, which I've been saving for the past six years. I just have to figure out what to call myself." He tried to play the whole thing off as no big deal, but I could tell that this was going to take a big toll on him.

"How about Nightwing?" I blurted out the first thing I thought of. I think I heard it in a poem somewhere. He looked up at me with a half-smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Nightwing it is." So maybe we were both broken, broken and a little crazy, but maybe crazy wasn't so bad after all.

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Author's Note: So this chapter was a bit heavier then others. I had this written and then later decided to make Ryan the attacker. this chapter is dedicated to piggythelaw since we had similar ideas. As I have said before, please send in ideas for chapters since this is supposed to be a collection of one-shots but I think it actually turned into a story. Ummmm yeah. Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I love you all.

Question of the day: (there are two today) 1. What should Lana and Dick's ship name be? 2. Did you have any New Years' resolutions and if so did you break them yet? I personally decided to forgo the resolutions and just try to think about how I could change this year, rather than put a label on it. I hope to finish a few of my original stories as well as (hopefully) Not Really Boring.

I LOVE YOU ALL! bye

P.S. I don't actually know how Robin became Nightwing, so I just made it up.


	12. Chapter 12

Part 12

I unlocked the door to my house and set my keys in the bowl that occupied the entry way.

My mind flashed back to that fateful night when I discovered a whole new side to my now ex-boyfriend.

Since then he had been arrested and sentenced to a long time in prison. I froze from the memories.

I could never tell how long I stood there. Ever since the flashbacks stated, I would freeze and not move until something snapped me out of my poisonous memories.

"Lana is that you?" I shook my head to rid myself of the hauntingly vivid recollections, but I was still stuck in the past.

Dick appeared in the kitchen doorway, wiping his hands on a towel he had slung over his shoulder. His brown knitted in concern when I hadn't answered. I struggled to regain composure, but he wasn't buying it. He came over and held my wrist. Physical contact was exactly what I needed to finally pull me out of my daze.

"Are you okay? He asked. I slapped on a smile and nodded. I brushed past him and made my way into the kitchen looking to acquire a glass of grape juice. He followed me in.

"I know you're not okay. Don't pretend like you are." I couldn't look at him. He could always tell when something was off. "I know you too well Lana, you can't hide this from me." I still refused to look at him. He sighed and wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind. "You went through something traumatic, I know that. You need to talk about it. Keeping something like this bottled up, isn't going to help anyone. The team has been asking about you. M'gaan is afraid you're going to jump off a bridge."

I let a small smile slip. "You know bridges aren't my thing. I would never go out like that. Slit wrists, on the other hand, are another story." I shook my head. "We shouldn't be joking about suicide; it's not a joking matter. People out there take their lives every day and I'm standing here treating it lightly. Now I feel terrible."

I pressed my hand against his. We stood there like that for a few moments. "I don't really know what advice I can give to you," Dick said softly. "What I do know is that keeping this stuff in is going to drive you insane. Please talk to me."

I pressed my lips together, trying to keep in the sobs that were threatening to come out. I held Dick's hand tighter. "I just felt so helpless. I feel like I can't breathe when I think about it. I couldn't stop him from pinning me to the wall, or undressing me. What if it happens again? What will I do?"

Dick slid his thumb across the back of my hand. "I can teach you how to defend yourself. You already know a ton of the stuff I do from gymnastics, all I need to do is teach you the fighting side of it. The rest of the team would love to help as well. We can set up some lessons." He squeezed me a little tighter. "We're all here for you Lana; you don't have to be afraid."

I wanted to cry at the pure intentions radiating off of the amazing man holding me. I had never thought someone would care for me this much. As I was thinking this, a memory from last summer wormed its way into my thoughts.

_I lit the grill while M'gaan got the hamburgers and hot dogs. I placed my hand over the grate of the grill to feel the temperature._

_"__I still think you two would be perfect together." I sighed internally._

_"__You're entitled to think what you want," I replied._

_"__It's just that he talks about you all the time. Lana and I did this, Lana said that. Just so you know, your name is probably his favorite word." M'gaan placed the meat on the grill with her telekinesis. _

I don't know why I had thought of this just now, but now that it was there, the memory was stuck. Maybe M'gaan was onto something, or maybe I was being crazy, but it got me thinking.

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Author's Note: So I know it's short, but it's been so long since I've updated that I felt the need to give you something. I have a few pre-written stuff coming soon, but for now I still have to write it as I go along.

I have decided on a ship name! (drum roll) Crazybird! Special thanks to SilverTiger, and Batmanismyhero for the suggestion.

Question of the Day: Arrow or Flash? Personally I'm conflicted. I would say Flash because Grant Gustin, I mean honestly. Also I'm caught up on Flash and I'm still on the third episode of the first season of Arrow. On the other hand Arrow has Speedy (though I don't think he's called that), Black Canary on top of Green Arrow. It's like getting smacked in the face with superheroes. All in all, I still have to say Flash, because Grant Gustin. Thank you.

Finally (this author's note is almost as long as the chapter and I really hate when author's do that) review, because I still take suggestions as to what should happen to Lana and Dick next, that will lead up to my pre-written chapters.

I love you all, have a nice day!


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